The Life Saving Force

While sending my "Ang" to work this morning, saw these 3 fire engines with the beacon lighted up.

Don't they look gorgeous? They still amaze me.

Then my "Ang" told me this display is an everyday event in the morning, they test the fire engines, rhinos, bikes every day.

Do you know that all fire station are open to public on Saturday morning? There is even a guided tour and hands on demonstrations.

Makes me want to pay a visit to one......

Tomorrow

Tomorrow - my last day at my current work place. But I might be returning once a week until the project ends.

Tomorrow - I'm representing my CEO to give a speech to the nurses in celebration of Nurses Day.

Tomorrow - I'm representing my CEO in a farewell party for one of the doctors.

Tomorrow - I promise myself to do laundry and ironing....which has been piling in my spare room.

Tomorrow - is pay day

It will always be a day away.

Live Encounter

Most of us dread walking into a hospital. It had an association with the sick and the dead. Little associate it with recovery as we typically recuperate at home.

I, for now, associate hospital as my new work place. Meeting the sick, the injured, the doctors, the nurses, the pharmacist, the therapist, the radiographer, the radiologist, became a daily affair.

For some work reason, I had to speak to a doctor and went to the A&E department where he was on duty. Somehow, he was attending to a patient with a head injury. I decided to return again but the doctor asked me to stay and have the discussion right there and then!!

It turn out to be a one way discussion as the doctor went on and on .......I, for once, was dumbfounded, staring at him injecting a local anaethesia to the patient's head, seeing the patient shiver controllably, blood flowing out from his head flushing his face, ear and neck, seeing the doctor stitching up the wound......all these while the doctor was talking and having our "discussion". In fact, I wasn't listening to the doctor, I just heard sound, not words. It was my first hand experience at the A&E treatment room - live.

At the end of the day, I was still thinking about it. Then I made a comparison. Just like when we were in a 5 star restaurant, food was great, presentation was perfect, service (most probably) is excellent. But when we cross into the kitchen, we would probably be in third world.

This best described my experience at the A&E treatment room that day.

Another thought came to me. Or is this called professionalism? Just like when a soldier needs to protect his country and disassociate his act as killing, a doctor needs to focus on the treatment and disassociate the pain?

Where's the care and concern? I continue to wonder......

Connection

I had been bad. I hardly had time to visit my mum recently. Only visited her on Saturdays.

She hasn't been able to open her eyes for long, even when we put her in front of the TV watching one of her favourite show - Planet's Funniest Animals. She used to make some chuckle. Now, she hardly watched for 1 min before closing her eyes.

I also realised changes on her fingernails. She has ribbed nails now.

There's one thing I find it amazing, she likes to stare at my 'Ang'. Whenever my 'Ang' greeted her, she stares at him and her eyes follow where my 'Ang' goes. That's when I told my 'Ang': "Better treat her daughter well, or else she will not let you off!!"

I had always felt something missing between my mum and my 'Ang'. Theoritically speaking, my mum never got to know my 'Ang'. She was already sick and lost her speech when I introduced my then boyfriend, AKA my 'Ang', to her. I didn't really get to know if my mum had liked my 'Ang' or not, or if she thought he's a good man or not, or if she agreed to our marriage or not, or if she blessed our union or not. She never really knew her son-in-law.

So does my 'Ang'. He never actually knew my mum. Yet he gave her "Pin Jin" on our wedding, he paid for her caregiver, he carried her up the flight of stairs to her room when me and the caregiver struggled and he visited her every Saturday.

That is the kind of relationship they have, connected by love.

The love of a daughter. The love of a husband.

I am their only connection.

Blank

I have not been blogging a lot.

I've tried logging in to blogger for several times.....trying to write....but my mind is blank. Nothing comes to my mind, except work, work and work.

Even now as I'm trying to write that I'm tired, my mind just couldn't construct the sentence.

Meeting People

Meeting people has been my cup of tea, having been in the Sales & Marketing environment for years.

I met 2 new people at my new job.

One being my subordinate, one being my indirect boss.
One being young, one being old.
One having a list of qualifications in his name card, one having none.
Both being men, both being.......full of themselves!!!

I complained to my 'Ang' about this subordinate. Getting myself agitated, getting myself still thinking about him after work, discussing about how youngsters nowadays doesn't seem to listen and commit to their work.

My 'Ang' listened and replied "You only had one to deal with. I have hundreds. So now you know why I didn't want to talk about work."

Work-Life Balance Lesson No.1: To disengage work when home.

It's Official!

It was a hectic week and my cousin suggested we chill out over dinner and drinks since it was Friday (yesterday). So, all of us gathered at my auntie's place while scratching out heads where to go. I think all of us are so drained that there is hardly any juice left in our brains.

One of my male cousin also popped in, knowing we are all there, with his wife and 4 months old daughter in tow. It was my first time meeting the little 4 month old. I approached the little body and carried her in my arms while her eyes scouted for her mother.

Then, my cousin suddenly chided his baby, saying "This is Toa Yee, call Toa Yee, TOOAA YEEEE....."

In some unknown corners of my brain, some brain juice just woke me up. "What? I'm Toa Yee meh? I thought she's supposed to call me Cheh Cheh or something?"

It's really a wake up call. It's official - I'm an Auntie!!!

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Moments later, my younger brother, 3 years my junior, somehow also popped in. He saw the little girl and brought him smiles on his face. Then, lightning strike twice!! "This is Toa Gu....call toa gu.....TOOAAA GUUuu....."

You can imagine the same stunned face.

Lifeline

I had been swamped again ..... with work...needing me at 3 places at the same time.

And so happened that my mum needed a PEG surgery at the same time. 9 months since the last replacement of the gastronomy tube. Her medicine and milk were fed into her body through this tube. This is her lifeline, in a way.

It was bad of me. I admitted her to the hospital early in the morning while I reported to my new workplace at the hospital. I left her there with the caregiver while I attended meetings and meetings throughout the day, until the surgeon came at 5.30pm. By the time she got discharged, it pass 7pm. I was so drained that I didn't send my mum back, instead I brought her back to my place for the night. Though it wasn't the first time she visited my place, her eyes were wide open, scrolling left to right, up and down. She was at ease after a while and slept through the night without a sound.

In fact, my mum was so comfortable that I realised there were 2 uncomfortable souls in the house - my "Ang" and the caregiver.

My "Ang" had to put on a T-shirt (usually he is semi-naked at home) cos' the caregiver is at around. The caregiver was busily 'hiding' in the kitchen and yard (dunno doing what she was doing but keeping herself occupied). I was so zonked that I fell asleep by 10pm.

I guess my 'Ang' was so uncomfortable with additional people in the house that his usual morning routine became haywired. He even forgot to kiss and hug me goodbye in the morning before he let for work!!!!

Game?

Cyber games have been the hype since Singapore organised the World Cyber Games.

Kids, adults, females have their fair share.

Sometimes I wonder on our lives, operating like a cyber game, or any computer game for that matter. Going through every stage, accomplishing some tasks, gaining some energy/money/weapons along the way, promoted to another stage, accomplishing another set of tasks, gaining more energy/money/weapons. By failing the stage, you get to replay it again, losing some of the money/energy/weapons gained. The only difference, we can restart the whole game from the beginning, but we cannot restart our life again. We can fail in our life and try again, but not restart.

Assuming I'm playing my life as a "game", I should be in the marriage stage. As I lived through married life, kisses will be as reward when the dinner is well done, the love bar decreases when the toilet is not cleaned. A bouquet of flowers when the laundry was well done.

Vice versa for the husbands, no kisses when the sink is still clogged, no hugs when the light bulb is not changed, no sex when there is no income.

Once we've accomplished enough kisses, hugs, love bar and sex, then we can proceed to the next stage - Parent stage.

Of course, we have to set the parameters before we begin.

I wonder if my 'Ang' is game for this. Are you?